Comments on: Is There Hope After a Breach of Trust? http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03/18/is-there-hope-after-a-breach-of-trust/ my thoughts… my stories… my life… Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:42:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: AngelSeyes http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03/18/is-there-hope-after-a-breach-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-324 AngelSeyes Sun, 09 Nov 2008 06:59:58 +0000 http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/?p=958#comment-324 Been there..than that..I was a victim of infidelity and it hurts so bad. It feels like my heart was crushed. I even tried to curse them. How I hate that day!! I was so bitter..I always cry at night and just keep myself busy..Yet I asked God to help me,let go of the bitterness..and I did.. So now, my ex is trying to win me back again. I am not bitter anymore.. I looked at him with respectand forgivess.. I don’t know what will happen now. Now that he is here again. Been there..than that..I was a victim of infidelity and it hurts so bad. It feels like my heart was crushed. I even tried to curse them. How I hate that day!! I was so bitter..I always cry at night and just keep myself busy..Yet I asked God to help me,let go of the bitterness..and I did.. So now, my ex is trying to win me back again. I am not bitter anymore.. I looked at him with respectand forgivess.. I don’t know what will happen now. Now that he is here again.

]]> By: Julia http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03/18/is-there-hope-after-a-breach-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-323 Julia Wed, 14 May 2008 06:59:00 +0000 http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/?p=958#comment-323 It’s a good post, no doubt, but I’m probably one of those rare forgiving folks. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t forgive any infidelity, there is a limit to my patience. But it does strike me every time how families break up after just one act of unfaithfulness. I completely understand it when adultery is in the veins of the erring party (so to speak), and they just can’t limit themselves to one partner. In this case, if another side is strictly monogamous the question does rise as to whether it’s worth to keep forgiving and sticking together (and bear in mind, forgive doesn’t mean to forget). The way I see it, if it happened suddenly and for the first time, the best thing people can do is to realise that their relationship is a unit. It does consist of two people, but in the end of the day, both of them are working on this relationship, so if one had erred, it must have happened for the reason. The best thing - from my point of view - is to be totally open with each other, but respectful. I agree that infidelity calls to question many things, including the worthiness of a relationship, but if this relationship is serious then the best thing is to take a plunge and talk frankly about any problems that led to infidelity. Pitying yourself and asking forgiveness are two most obvious and easy things to do. Having said it all, what also strikes me is that on such occasions people focus too much on the physical side. Infidelity is seen predominantly as physical, so the issue isn't about trust but about possessiveness. In my opinion there can be an infidelity to the very idea of a relationship. There can be lack of commitment, lack of respect, indifference, lack of togetherness, and to me these are much graver instances of infidelity than an act of physical closeness. In simple terms, you can be in a relationship but totally alone at the same time, and to err is human, as we know, so there can be no apology to infidelity either way. It’s a good post, no doubt, but I’m probably one of those rare forgiving folks. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t forgive any infidelity, there is a limit to my patience. But it does strike me every time how families break up after just one act of unfaithfulness. I completely understand it when adultery is in the veins of the erring party (so to speak), and they just can’t limit themselves to one partner. In this case, if another side is strictly monogamous the question does rise as to whether it’s worth to keep forgiving and sticking together (and bear in mind, forgive doesn’t mean to forget). The way I see it, if it happened suddenly and for the first time, the best thing people can do is to realise that their relationship is a unit. It does consist of two people, but in the end of the day, both of them are working on this relationship, so if one had erred, it must have happened for the reason. The best thing – from my point of view – is to be totally open with each other, but respectful. I agree that infidelity calls to question many things, including the worthiness of a relationship, but if this relationship is serious then the best thing is to take a plunge and talk frankly about any problems that led to infidelity. Pitying yourself and asking forgiveness are two most obvious and easy things to do.

Having said it all, what also strikes me is that on such occasions people focus too much on the physical side. Infidelity is seen predominantly as physical, so the issue isn’t about trust but about possessiveness. In my opinion there can be an infidelity to the very idea of a relationship. There can be lack of commitment, lack of respect, indifference, lack of togetherness, and to me these are much graver instances of infidelity than an act of physical closeness. In simple terms, you can be in a relationship but totally alone at the same time, and to err is human, as we know, so there can be no apology to infidelity either way.

]]> By: mina http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03/18/is-there-hope-after-a-breach-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-322 mina Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:57:48 +0000 http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/?p=958#comment-322 Wonderful post! <abbr><em>mina’s last blog post..<a href="http://24hourparadigm.blogspot.com/2008/12/deep-respect-is-unrelenting.html" rel="nofollow">Deep Respect is Unrelenting</a></abbr></em> Wonderful post!

mina’s last blog post..Deep Respect is Unrelenting

]]> By: fragileheart http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03/18/is-there-hope-after-a-breach-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-321 fragileheart Thu, 20 Mar 2008 06:57:14 +0000 http://www.lettersfromthesoul.com/?p=958#comment-321 Love this post and also, LOVE the new layout! Love this post and also, LOVE the new layout!

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